Our lives had become unmanageable

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Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered program that helps people struggling with addiction. While drugs, alcohol, and pornography are the usual addictions that come to mind it is common to find people hurting in numerous ways. As I have stated many times in other writings I feel there is a battle of good and evil being raged with the Devil having many tricks up his sleeves that he uses to ruin or make our lives miserable. Celebrate Recovery addresses these issues.

The principles of Celebrate Recovery are based on the 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. There are group meetings, sponsors to help you through the hard times, and 12 steps to study, comprehend, and commit to. Step one is:

  1. WE ADMITTED WE WERE POWERLESS OVER OUR ADDICTIONS AND COMPULSIVE BEHAVIORS, THAT OUR LIVES HAD BECOME UNMANAGEABLE

I have participated in many A.A. and Celebrate Recovery meetings over the years and worked my way “through the 12 steps”. In fact, for about a year I served as a counselor for a similar program even though I had was not completely “healed” myself.

If the truth was known I never fully agreed and accepted step one. So even though I faked it for a year and a half the reality was I should have stopped at step one as it made it pointless to show up and keep going through the lessons. This is typical of the hypocrisy I have practiced throughout my life.

A.A.’s states in its 12 Step Book “…few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program unless they have hit bottom.”

The term “hitting bottom” gets at the root cause of my problem as I have never really hit rock bottom. At least not in the way I have heard others describe. Nearly everyone who attends these meetings has a tragic story of how their life spiraled out of control due to increasing habitual consumption of alcohol (or other ailments). Some folks got DWI’s or even went to prison as their lives became unmanageable. Many lost their jobs and became divorced. They describe lives that were full of pain and struggle.

But my addiction, and I now confess to be addicted, has always been different. Yes, I have had moments where I drank to excess but for the most part it was a steady stream of 2-3 beers per day after work and nothing more. I was able to stop and go about a pretty normal life, at least on the surface.

I have been drinking alcohol for nearly 40 years maintaining this same pattern (with a few breaks here and there) and have maintained a good job, marriage, and relationships with many people. But, am I any different from those who hit “rock bottom”? I don’t think so as there are serious problems hidden behind my exterior.

I am coming to the conclusion I am no different than the bum on the street. Alcohol has simply got to me in a more devious and unsuspecting way. Alcohol is described as “baffling and cunning” which I believe is an accurate term. For me, it found a way that it could creep into my life and unknowingly become a problem that I was not really aware of.

Or perhaps I was but failed to accept.

But that time is over. I give in. I agree. And now by coming to acceptance I am ready to move on.

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